A Load in Every Hole brings you Crystal Ray — Whatever we've said about our hopeless and puerile crushes on other women, forget it. We didn't know what we were talking about. Crystal Ray, you see, is our one and only goddess of desire. And we can only hope that our sentiments are promptly conveyed to her with the end result being a surprise phone call and an offer to come over some time and blow us. We might tip and then we might not. Which begs another question. How how do you tip a goddess when they see all and know all? They've got all the inside skinny. Oh. The other kind of tip? That's a possibility, but goddesses don't need money because they have the power to disappear and re-emerge in bank vaults. Never mind. Crystal sounds way too high maintenance for us. On to the next whore.